Dreams occur even before the sun

Favorite song:

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 17:54:38 GMT

Cold (But I'm Still Here) E
Artist: Evans Blue

Hello, I'm your martyr, will you be my gangster
can you feel my trigger hand, moving further down your back
when you hide, hide inside that body
but just remember that when I touch you
the more you shake, the more you give away

cold, but I'm still here, blind, ‘cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we’re far from obvious this time

wait, another minute here, time will kill us after all
now can you feel its second hand wrapped around your neck
so fall into my eyes and fall into my lies
but don’t you forget
the more you turn away, the more I want you to stay

cold, but I'm still here, blind, ‘cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we’re far from obvious this time

you’re so endearing, you’re so beautiful,
well I don’t look like they do, and I don’t love like they do
but I don’t hate like they do
am I ever on your mind?

cold, but I'm still here, blind, ‘cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we’re far from obvious this time

COLD, you broke me from the very first night
I'd love you ‘til the day that I die
we're far too comfortable this time
COLD, I loved you from the very first night
you broke me ‘til the day that I die
I'm far too obvious this time

Party Picture

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 00:06:19 GMT

Yay!

Fri, 09 Dec 2005 03:10:21 GMT

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In May I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points). In August I stole box_maker's purse (-30 points). In March I broke asthmaticninja's X-Box (-12 points). In November I didn't flush (-1 points). In June I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points).

Overall, I've been nice (302 points). For Christmas I deserve a red Radio-Flyer wagon!

Sincerely,
birkici

Weekend

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 03:41:44 GMT

Friday sucked.
Saturday was great.
Today sucks.

Blah!!!

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 00:11:33 GMT

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

I don't think I need one for this....

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 04:49:56 GMT

My heart has never been so full.

Thanksgiving pic

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 03:13:23 GMT

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 05:11:28 GMT

OverGroWnhobBiT: what should i update your eljay on?
Birkici7: whatever

I like the word whatever. It has a lot of e's in it. That's really the only reason i like it. Oh, and i know how to say it in japanese (i think), but not in spanish. That makes me sad.

Of course, I don't think she meant that literally, so I shall instead update on whatever pops into my head.

I like em. She makes me happy. I like spending time with her. I like sentances that sound like the come from a 4th grader. Maybe I should write longer sentances. Or get back to my point. My point is, em is cool and awesome.

I met her family this weekend! I think i have met most everyone that counts in her family (those people being her grandma, grandpa, mother, father, brother, 2 cats, and the 4 dogs at her house). They pretty much all like me. Bilbo likes me, which is highly unusual. Casey and Cujo didn't want to eat me, which is also highly unusual. But I like that...it means I don't have to worry about them injuring me upon visitation.

I suppose I should post some more serious thoughts on why I like her and why I like us. And so I shall.

What initially attracted me to her is her honesty and openness. I tried to forewarn her about something (basically a part of me) and she basically told me "don't ever do that." That was totally awesome of her, and I still don't think she realizes how awesome, and everything this has allowed me to do. It means that I can come to her with whatever thoughts I have and share them. It means I can (pretty much fearlessly) open up any part of my self to her. I don't have to worry about how she'll react or anything, not because I think she'll be okay with everything, but because we both believe it's better to show stuff the other may not like fearlessly than to hide it away.

I also really like how comfortable I am with her, in ways I never thought about. There isn't always this need to do or to say things. I mean, we like doing things together, but we also enjoy just being around the other person. We may not being doing the same thing, we may not be talking, but it's comfortable...it's not awkward.

I also muchly like how well our families like her and I. My family loves her, and I think her family really likes me. That is very good.

I don't know, she just kind of fits my life. It's a really good feeling.

And really, that's what is most important. I have been following a feeling with her from day 1. My heart is leading me to her even if my mind doesn't always understand why. And I am sticking to that, stubbornly. And you know what? It's turning out damn well.

And yeah, I think this is enough for now. As always, tune in to our eljays for more updates.

Another update

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 05:37:35 GMT

Em was over here tonight. It was very good, I must say. We had a semi-romantic dinner (as in, there was candlelight) of Wendy's, followed by What Dreams May Come. The movie was good, but the company was most definitely better.

This weekend should be good. Actually, tomorrow should be good too. Oh hell, life is good right now, I think that's what it boils down to. And it's not all her, but I will say she really helps. I <3 her.

She really fits. My life, really.

Anyhow, I think this entry has gotten sappy enough. On a lighter note, I really want to find my pink light bulb. It perturbs me that I cannot find it. I also want my hair a little shorter.

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 04:59:12 GMT

So, I definitely met some of em's family today. Her grandfather, grandmother, and her two cats. Miss Black liked me some, but after Bilbo's first bit of trepedation he liked me, and let me pet him. And actually, at the end of the day he was falling asleep in my lap, so that is good.

I don't know, today was really good, and I can't exactly explain why. Em and I spent a lot of time together, sometimes doing things together, sometimes not, but it was all comfortable. Even the silences were okay...it still felt good. Like we didn't need to keep talking to each other, we could just sit and enjoy each other's company, or do something but around each other and it is better. And yeah, I have no idea how to say exactly what I want to, but i noticed it and it was good so I am commenting on it.

And tomorrow...What Dreams May Come. It should be good.

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 21:20:58 GMT

man, I forgot that i was going to update this >_<. oh well, i have remembered now.

This weekend em and I spent quite a bit of time together, and with my family. All in all quite enjoyable. She fits very well with my family.

We have cool plans for tomorrow, though not necessarily big ones. An indoor picnic lunch, some movie watching, some bookshelf assembling, and we'll see what all else.

And! I have a really cool supplies I am going to make for her. It shall be both purple and pink (though neither purple nor pink), and this cool sea-green color. Just wait, I will post pictures.

This afternoon is like, 1 think away from a perfect nap. There will be rain, i have a really good book, mallet is quiet and cool, i have chocolate...ahh, almost perfect.

And yes, this is enough of an update. Oh yeah, and this has been another post of the "mystery" author.

the not-so-mystery author

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 05:52:56 GMT

And yet, I still shall not sign my name, because I am weird like that.

I do like my life recently. I can think back to how things were before these past few weeks, at who I was...I was dead where it counted. I was going through the motions with no heart, or not much of one. It wasn't a me that I liked, but I didn't know how to change it or why. But, things change, and so do I. I'm not that person anymore.

I don't know, I just have felt so alive these past two-ish weeks. It's just but a shine on the edge of life, a brightness that is in the peripheray of your vision and no where else.

And wow, this has gotten way too metaphorical, I think. I need some sleep.
Because, after all, after I sleep I can wake up to a brand new day, with new possibilities on many different fronts. And all in all, I like.

"Mystery" author again

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 02:06:45 GMT

Damn, i forgot all about updating this until just a second ago. But I remembered, and she will get her post, and I will get...wait, what will I get for posting? Besides comments. I should figure that out.

I also have no idea what to say. Note that that will not keep me from saying it.

I think this will be almost as much my eljay as hers. After all, i will have 60% of the posts by the time that this hits the air, and half-ish of the comments. If that's not at least partial ownership, i don't know what is.

Oh yeah, she got a job recently, and me, and her nose ring fell out. And um. Other stuff happened that I can't remember.

And now, on to more Sudeki!

Another post by the "mystery" author that is not her.

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 02:48:39 GMT

I am having trouble writing this post, as I am distracted by talking to her and, you know, actually doing my work. I know, i should just stop all that silliness and concentrate on this, but meh, I cannot.

*sighs* she likes playing wow and losing her soul. though she has less often recently, so that is good. And actually, I don't even mind all that much that she plays. She's not addicted to it, it's not ruining her life, and I can see how it would be cool in theory. It's like a pen and paper RPG, only on the computer and potentially soul stealing. Just...don't let her know that, as i like teasing her. [in bed]

Sorry, I couldn't resist that little [in bed] on the end there. It just fit too well :-D

Oh well, this is enough for now. I should try to be productive.

Quiz Time

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 19:59:29 GMT

Your element is Wind. You are the guy/girl that is
unpredictable. No one knows what you're going
to do next and what you're in the mood for.
Studying is not your thing and you would rather
go to a party than stay home. Life is just for
fun and you need to be free to live according
to you. You waste no time on lies, if you feel
or think one thing you say it even if it hurts.
Of course, people may be quite upset but that
doesn't really bother you. It's not that you
don't care, because you do, but in these
situations it's a waste of time. You live up in
the clouds and are quite a dreamer about life.
People often consider you beautiful, but harsh
and they would think twice before getting to
know you. But once they do, they'll learn that
you are always willing to take yourself and
your friends on adventures. Never will it be a
boring time with you and your friends
appreciate that. You are not often seen sad,
but you have your times. If someone has been
mean to you, you can quite easily trash-talk
them for betraying you. Nevertheless, you are
most of the time a good spirit who just want to
have some fun. Rate and message!

What is your element? [with pics + detailed answeres]
brought to you by Quizilla

First Post!!

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 00:01:50 GMT

This is the first post in my not-so-new, but never before used, eljay. Only, even though it's my eljay, it's not really my post. Someone else is updating for me, because I didn't know what to put.

Mwahahaha, that give me [me being the actual writer] much power. Or well, a little power, as she could just delete anything I put in here.

And actually, I don't even know what I want to say. Usually I have something fun to post in here when I do this, but then, I don't always need a point, now do I?

Ha! I thought not.

Anyhow, this shall be enough for now. I shall now go and deter her from her WoW addiction, as her soul deserves not to be all stolen and stuff. Ta-ta!